Ask Anne: Relationship Questions
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I am a 21 year old girl who has never really been kissed yet I find myself, more and more, wanting to a) start dating and b) become sexual. While I am taking steps towards the dating there is a part of me that really just wants to have a one night stand or something along those lines.

I know my lack of experience is one item that prevents me from acting out, but a bigger part is my worrying that something bad might happen. All of my knowledge about sex has come from a fundamental Christian mind-set of NO PRE-MARITAL SEX!!! Yet I’ve never really bought into that and have a different opinion on the matter, i.e. as long as if safe and done in a healthy exploratory manor I will be fine and might even enjoy it especially since I am extremely horny. (which might be odd for a female but oh well that’s what I am)

I also know that I haven’t been ready for this step until recently because for one during junior high I was diagnosed with cancer and struggled with surviving it until sophomore year in high school which truly damaged my social skills and self-esteem. Being know as the fragile sick kid didn’t help much and plus I was busy focusing on recovery, getting back to basket-ball, and graduating on time with my class. (I had missed lots of school during treatment.) Once in collage I found myself at odds with most of the kids my age because the social scene seemed a little immature, and fake also I have an unfortunate “wiser beyond my years” outlook on life and I had to take so time to pause and reflect on who I was and digest what id been through.

Now I’ve done that and feel better centered and much more confidant in myself thus I've taken steps towards dating. I have seen great results of this too, i.e. being pick up on the street for just smiling at a guy, being asked for my number twice at one party and so on. But my dilemma arises from not knowing when sex would be good, and how to advance to a more intimate/physical relationship. Are one night stands ok? What precautions should I take to protect myself emotionally, and mentally- I’ve been drilled on the physical part such as birth control and condoms but what else should I know?

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